I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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