you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
