Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
