My room smells like vodka and shame
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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