hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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