When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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