girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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