Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
