Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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