When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Randomize
