singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
