grandma shit on top of the toilet
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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