Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize