You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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