But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
