remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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