everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
