I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
