I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
