Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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