I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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