I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Fuck me I smell like cheese
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
