thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Randomize
