I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
