I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
