If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Operation Purity has been aborted
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
