So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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