thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
