Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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