Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
