why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
