Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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