i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
