he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
True college students do jello shots in the library
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
