So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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