he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
