there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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