He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
