he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
