So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
