Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
