I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize