You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
