Having a random hookup so left but love u
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
