I want to stick my p in your. b.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
