put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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