Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
false alarm, still single
Randomize
