I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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