A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
