I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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