you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
