I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
it glows. i had to have it.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
