please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
