found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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