In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
