I'm lost and stupid without you.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
