did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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