I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
