Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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