It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
