somebody snuck up and got me drunk
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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