Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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