So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
