At least make sure they are 18
Why
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I have fence marks all over my body
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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