My boss' voice literally gives me gas
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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