So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
